Five Years From Now

Cocaine leaves washed in Gasoline, treated with Cement powder, Fertilizer

2012-03-02T14:12:00.003-08:00

Did you know cocaine paste gets extracted from crushed cocaine plant leaves that are first broken down with cement powder and liquid fertilizer? By washing the crushed leaves in gasoline, the Coca leaves release the paste. Are you grossed out yet? Watch this video of a Coca farmer and see for yourself just how sad the life of cartel worker who makes Coca paste really is.

Awesome Student Organization - Bravo!

2012-02-25T10:30:00.004-08:00

So glad there are students out there who are not giving in to peer pressure and are standing up for themselves. These students are outstanding leaders! Students Against Destructive Decisions is one of those organizations. Bravo to this great example of healthy self-esteem and the promoting of good choices.

In the last few days, SADD has been in the news regarding a recent study on teen marijuana use. In the study, 19% of students admitted driving while stoned.

Cocaine snorting while in the same room as President Obama?

2012-02-23T13:05:00.003-08:00

Today we have yet another example that Hollywood doesn’t get it. As far as I'm concerned, consuming cocaine in any way is simply a bad idea. In this FOX news report, not so-funny comedian David Cross is quoted as having said in a recent Playboy interview, that he snorted cocaine at a 2009 White House dinner, in the presence of President Obama. He said he just wanted to say that he did such a thing. Never mind the fact that he was not the primary invited guest, he was the date of his girlfriend Amber Tamblyn (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), who because of his actions, of which she was unaware, will no longer be welcome at the White House. Guess by now, Amber might be thinking she can do better than David Cross?

Cross, who also admitted to experimenting with various drugs such as crack, said he was neither proud or ashamed of what he did. The first thing I would recommend for David Cross is psychotherapy, because what he did is totally reckless. Cross thinks it’s okay to brag about drug use and does not see that he is setting a poor example for others, who may be inspired by his extremely poor judgment. Furthermore, did cross actually think about the fact that cocaine is a controlled, Schedule I substance and possession is a felony? Did he even think twice about the consequence that he could have been arrested along with his girlfriend?

Now let’s think about what it means to bring a controlled substance into the White House? What does that say about his respect level for our President, who also is an admitted former cocaine user? Is this story about a knit whit thinking he’s funny or is it about provoking government drug policy in general? President Obama has a pretty tough stance against drug use, though I really wish he would personally take a more public position on his stance.

As for David Cross, he should be ashamed of himself.

Well Done Lindsay! One Day At A Time

2012-02-22T13:37:00.000-08:00

video platform video management video solutions video player

10 Tips for Long-term Sobriety

2012-02-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

1. Every morning, think of 10 things you are grateful for.

2. Say a prayer for those who are lost in addiction.

3. Eat healthy and exercise.

4. Stay away from things that make you uncomfortable.

5. Be interested in helping others but remember charity begins at home.

6. Always say thank you, always say please and do it with a smile.

7. Educate yourself.

8. Listen.

9. Be reliable and do it right.

10. Love yourself.

The Edge

2012-02-21T12:47:00.001-08:00

Trying to get people to understand what addiction really does is not all that simple, but in this post I'm going to try to offer some perspective. There are many different forms of addiction and many different drugs people get addicted to. There is a place called “hitting bottom”, there is a place called “a high bottom” and “a low bottom.” There is also a place called “the edge” and by hitting bottom we get closer and closer to it.

Where “hitting bottom” means having done enough social damage, damage to health and finances, “hitting bottom” can still mean a person understands they have done so and are able to pull him or herself out of the problem by finding help and learning to take direction in recovery and getting back to a healthy life.

A “high bottom” is when a person still has a house, a car, a job, family and friends, yet is burdened with addiction. People with a “high bottom” usually are able to check in to a high priced facility and get clinical and medical help for his or her problem. These people are at risk of going to “the edge” if they relapse.

A “low bottom” is when a person has lost his or her home, the support of family and friends, has lost his or her job and basically lives on the street or is in jail. If lucky enough, this person is capable to get to a community based A.A. meeting, and is able to follow the principles of a 12 Step program, to some extent fully, yet more often than not they go back out and relapse. These people are at great risk of going to “the edge”.

“The edge” is a place where a person can be either rich or poor. They are already at the bottom, either high or low. People at the edge are hardcore addicts like Amy Winehouse or Michael Jackson was, for example. They have extreme physical signs of dehydration, emaciation, scarring and tooth decay. Their behavior shifts from sweet and sensitive to abrasive and hurtful in a nanosecond. These people have serious cognitive impairment, also referred to as brain damage, are conscious of it, yet they would never tell.

This damage to the brain, caused by the caustic effects of hardcore drug abuse, causes brain cell damage. Just imagine, if a drug can melt off tooth enamel like meth or cocaine can, imagine what it can do to the brain? When part of the brain stops working, it affects other parts of the brain as well. Communication and motor skill function present obvious signs of impairment; caused by neurotransmitters trying to communicate with the central nervous system. Neurotransmitters reach cell-damaged parts of the brain, causing what is known as uncontrollable “voices in your head.” This is the edge.

These so-called “voices” are an alarming and enormous problem and it is extremely difficult to reverse and come out of this state. Even after a hardcore addict quits, the problems persist because part of the thought process cannot be controlled and has a devastating effect on the outlook on life. After years in recovery, the brain eventually creates enough new brain cells and is able to repair the damage over time. This however, also requires a loving environment, plenty of good nutrition, a lot of rest, learning of a new inner dialogue by studying approved recovery materials, therapy and physical fitness.

When hardcore addicts reach this place of having voices in his or her head, it causes extreme self-doubt and fear of insanity. Most addicts do not understand what is happening and the cognitive complications pushes them over the edge and causes them to either commit suicide or keep on using drugs until they overdose. If someone you love has this problem, do not judge them, do not tell them they are crazy or insane. This is a serious condition and requires immediate medical help.

Helpful resource: Free Addiction Helpline (866) 535-9821

Remembering Kurt Cobain

2012-02-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

Kurt Cobain would have been 45 years old today. Instead he died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound at the age of 27, on April 8th, 1994. His tox-screen confirmed he had high doses of heroin and diazepam in his blood. This was his second suicide attempt, only this time it was for real. He left behind a suicide note, a wife, a child and many who were brokenhearted to hear of his death.

What happened here? What put him over the edge?

Drug use causes a lot of damage to the brain and the body. The real fight with drugs however is often when we come down from the high. Getting sober is like a constant coming down from the high we have been feeling and have been used to for quite some time.

That is why it can be extremely dangerous to quit drugs on your own. The first six months can be hell and it is this time some of us are closest to the edge.

Don't do drugs, it's not worth it.

What can we learn from Whitney Houston?

2012-02-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

Whitney Houston’s memorial service is a prime example of how people learn to talk well of those who struggled with his or her addiction, feeling sympathy for what they don’t understand, after they are dead. Yet what makes an addict? We should really start examining this question.

Whitney Houston’s cause of death has not been announced, yet everyone who followed her career knows, that addiction had taken away part of her voice, her looks, affected the way she felt about herself to a breaking point and that addiction took away her light. Drugs shattered Whitney’s spirit, accompanied by violence she experienced from her ex-husband Bobbie Brown, who battered her, degraded her and spat on her, knowing she was one of the greatest vocalists of all time.

Drugs will break and pull down even the greatest, most successful, most genius person into the hell of self-doubt, low self-esteem, lack of boundaries and all that once seemed innocent and so very precious. We are no longer the person we once were; yet we try so desperately to hold on to who that person is, while regretting our mistakes and knowing there may never be a way back for us.

We know we lose control of what has become of us and when we start making promises about all the things we’re going to do to improve; inside we know, with every promise made, we fall deeper and deeper into doubting ourselves, because we have lost our way. We lose hope and try to hide it, we lose confidence from others and we know it.

While in our addiction, there is, once in a while, a small glimmer of willingness to stop abusing drugs, but those who judge us and convince us, that in fact we are hopeless, crush it. This is part of the revolving door of the wickedness some of us never come out of. Holding on to the will and the belief of recovery is only possible if we are surrounded by those who understand that this willingness is not strong in our first two to three years of recovery. Keeping the wrong kind of company easily crushes this willingness, and if we risk being around those people and we relapse, we often do not survive.

People get tired of being judged and even more, throughout history; people have spoken out, protested, even died to end the tyranny of discrimination and oppression. On the horizon, maybe, just maybe one day, there may be a flicker of hope that people will end the oppression of those hopelessly addicted to drugs. I hope for humanity to one day arrive at this realization, because getting sober is a matter of life or death.

Whitney Houston Home Coming Memorial (Live Stream)

2012-02-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Bill O'Reilly: Saying What Needs to be Said

2012-02-17T10:10:00.000-08:00

Wendy Williams Remembers Whitney Houston by Revealing Her Past Struggle with Crack

2012-02-16T19:01:00.000-08:00

“The John & Ken Show” Suspended for calling Whitney Houston “A Crack-Ho”

2012-02-16T18:13:00.000-08:00

KFI-AM 640 should never bring back John Kobylt or his co-host and their minions, for the deliberately hurtful comments they made about Whitney Houston. No one should ever be downgraded to such disgraceful words, that only those use, who look to create a false impression, that they are better than the person they are falsely describing.

How many people gained joy from Whitney Houston’s music? How may people gained employment because she gave her best, to be the best there ever was? Whitney Houston stood for far more than the eye could see and if she found a young woman on the street, addicted to cocaine and she would have been in position to help her, having been able to hold on to her own recovery, Whitney would have done exactly that. She would have not looked down on someone who is dying, having lost his or her way.

John Kobylt was trying to make a joke at Whitney’s expense. He is a small man and a coward. He would have never said those things about her while she was alive. Now that she is dead and can’t defend herself, we can see how jealous of her he was. So jealous, that he forgot all ethics in broadcasting, which has now cost him the show. If that’s how he has to learn that he’s just a little man trying to tear down a music titan, then so be it. It’s all very sad to me. If I were him, I’d move to another town, cause the people in Los Angeles and the Country, are going to be and are furious!

One Night of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, can Destroy a Lifetime of Safe Sex

2012-02-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

Unplanned and unwanted pregnancies are addiction’s dirtiest little secret. When talking about drug abuse and addiction, the connection between drug and alcohol abuse and pregnancy is seldom discussed.

How many women have been too buzzed or too high, to recognize they are letting men go too far? How many men said the words “I just wanna kiss you” then “I just wanna touch you” then “I just wanna love you” and in the end, were too buzzed to be responsible about safe sex? How many women have lied and said “I’m on the pill” when they were not? How many men said “I’ll pull out” and then said “sorry, I couldn’t hold back”, all because they were too buzzed, high and plain out of it? The numbers are probably more shocking and frightening than we can imagine.

Now let’s think about all the unplanned and unwanted pregnancies because of buzzed sexual intercourse? What a sad way for a child to grow up knowing and being reminded he or she was unwanted and unplanned. Now let’s think about how many abortions? How many drug babies? How many foster children? How many addicted mothers, who keep having children? How many men who are addicted, who have STDs and don’t know, nor care that they are getting women pregnant and infected? How many women unknowingly transmit STDs? And they keep on doing it because it’s a well-kept, dirty little secret. Do we blame abortion? Do we blame drugs and alcohol? Do we blame our alcoholic or drug addicted parents?

If we think about it, there’s plenty of blame to go around. Safe sex is a serious thing and there should be nothing trivial about it. We have to take responsible measures to be safe and always remember, that when we’re off guard, we tend to not take life seriously. Let’s be safe about it. Practicing safe sex is a sober idea. Think about it.

Look to Yourself for Answers and You Will Find Them

2012-02-16T10:11:00.000-08:00

After four years of working hard, living life on life’s terms while staying sober and going to school part-time, I successfully completed my Associates of Arts Degree in Communications with a minor in Psychology.

Working on recovery issues to help people better understand addiction, juggling work on political campaigns, being an assistant to an elected official, a paralegal, while later constantly looking for work and sometimes not knowing where the next paycheck would come from, have all been tough challenges while going to school. There have been amazing times of success and times that were quite tough. I have made sacrifices by staying committed to my education and staying sober no matter what. I was not willing to settle for what my behavior, caused by addiction, had done to my life. Now when I look back and think of the darkest days, I can hardly fathom how I got to the place where I am today.

When I dropped out of High-School because I was raped and could no longer handle being bullied, I remember how sad I was and how much I cried. Too much had happened and I felt that the bottle and drugs were my only answer and that these substances were now going to be my way of coping. My home-life was disapproving and violent, my hopes for the life I wanted, gone. For 13 years I abused drugs and caused my health to deteriorate to the point of reversible brain damage. I remember how alone I felt and even after trying to quit using, feeling that I just wanted to die because I felt so miserable and had so much pain. No one came to my aid at that time; I had to find the solutions to my pain by learning to ask for help, which was not always welcome and never easy. I don’t know how I got here, but I’m glad I held on to this beautiful life. Now I’m a college graduate, moving on to fulfilling my dream of living the happy, sober and fulfilling life I am supposed to live, one day at a time.

Bill O'Reilly proves my point: Tony Bennett is Wack!

2012-02-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

Whitney Houston Understood Her Addiction

2012-02-15T09:51:00.000-08:00

In this interview with Oprah, Whitney Houston proves my point; that addicts have a disability when new to recovery. Clearly, Whitney describes how she was harassed by her own feelings about drugs. This is a disability. We have to start looking at people who are getting sober from addiction, as people who are handicapped. Addicts get better over the years but most of us heal slowly, which means it takes years not to feel the feelings Whitney is describing in this video.

I drafted the Addiction Rehabilitation and Protection Act, which recognizes people suffering from addiction, as people who should be protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act in their first two years of recovery.

Many addicts do not survive relapse. Call on your elected leaders to create laws that punish those who sell drugs to known addicts. Once an addict commits to rehab, that person is ready to let go of addiction. But really letting go takes years, not days. Keep drug dealers and unethical doctors away from vulnerable people trying to recover. We must draw the line if we want to save those we love.

Why California Marijuana Laws are the Laughing Stock of the Country

2012-02-13T20:20:00.001-08:00

Did you know Frisbee throwing is more dangerous than pot possession in the County of Los Angeles? Yep, it’s true! Last week, the County of Los Angeles created an ordinance on things you could and could not do at L.A. beaches. One of the things that stuck out like a sore thumb was the fine of $1,000 for throwing a Frisbee. This was not to be believed!

Under California state law, marijuana possession of an ounce or less costs a $100 fine and after passage of S.B. 1449, possession no longer goes on the offender’s record, it is now considered an infraction. With all due respect (yes, I am gritting my teeth), thank you Ex-Governor Schwarzenstoner!

Residents quickly saw the Frisbee throwing law as greedy cash hoarding by the County and when the media caught wind of it, the County reconsidered (CBS, 2012). Only a day later, the County announced that now when someone throws a Frisbee on the beach, they could face a fine for $100 for the first offense, a $200 fine for the second offense and a $500 fine for the third offense. That’s five times more than the fine for pot! Hey, while we’re at it, why not send Frisbee throwers to jail for a year, on the fourth offense, for felony Frisbee throwing? Might as well!

This is a sad and laughable example of how marijuana, a Schedule I drug, that causes impaired driving and has high potential for abuse, is viewed as so innocent that a Frisbee ends up being the greater threat. If this is not an example of unintended consequences of drug decriminalization in California, I don’t know what is?

Guess if anyone gets caught with a Frisbee, they should just blame their dog and say; “Hey! That’s not my Frisbee! I don’t know how that ended up here? Ask my dog, maybe it’s his!”

Goodbye Whitney

2012-02-12T19:41:00.001-08:00

Excuse Me, But Tony Bennett should Shut His Pie-Hole!

2012-02-12T18:43:00.000-08:00

Frank Sinatra, who told Tony Bennett to lay off the hard stuff years ago, is turning over in his grave! The same Tony Bennett who went on the Howard Stern Show and said 9/11 was the fault of the United States and then had to apologize to the entire country for saying so, has done it again.

According to MSNBC, this time Tony Bennett was grandstanding at the Clive Davis pre-Grammy party over Whitney Houston’s death by saying: “First it was Michael Jackson, then Amy Winehouse, now the magnificent Whitney Houston, I’d like every person in this room to campaign to legalize drugs.” All my sadness over Whitney’s death came to a screeching halt when he continued, “Let’s legalize drugs like they did in Amsterdam. No one’s hiding or sneaking around corners to get it. They go to a doctor to get it.” Hello? In case he missed it, many celebrity doctors have proven they are part of the problem!

Tony Bennett has either not been paying attention to the news, or he’s just plain losing his mind! The whole world knows Michael Jackson went to a doctor by the name of Conrad Murray, who is now in jail for killing him by giving him too many drugs. TMZ reported straight from the court records, during the time Murray was MJ’s doctor, he bought four gallons of Propofol!

Amy Winehouse is dead because in England drug laws are so lax, that getting drugs such as heroin has been made easy through decriminalization, which has clearly not worked out in Amy’s favor. It was finally concluded Amy died from alcohol poisoning, alcohol being a legal and widely available addictive substance.

And then for Tony Bennett to say the United States should follow the Amsterdam model “because of its success” is absolutely and totally irresponsible. It’s times like this where I am glad I was not in the room because I would have been all up in his grill.

Working with many drug policy experts, I have learned straight from the media in Amsterdam that the grass is not greener on the other side. Amsterdam has had to go backwards on their drug laws, making them more stringent because of drug tourism and drug zombies wandering around in the streets and alleyways. That's not what the doctor ordered!

Just because Tony Bennett sang in a duo with Amy Winehouse does not make him an expert on U.S. and global drug policy and it certainly shows that he has no idea what he’s rambling on about. He needs to stick to what he does best and sing the songs we love - to help us forget our troubles, not grandstand over things he is clearly very confused about and give us nightmares!

[Update: Feb. 13, 2012]

Today, Bill Bennett made some remarks of his own about Tony Bennett's comments regarding Whitney and drugs. On his show "Bill Bennett's Morning in America" he called Tony Bennett "an idiot." Nuf said!

Whitney Houston: She Said She Needed Help, 10 Years Ago

2012-02-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

Whitney Houston was an American Music Icon, adored throughout the world. Many who watched Whitney’s life unfold in the past decade knew there was a growing chance that drugs and alcohol might end her life early,... if she did not take care of herself.

Whitney even coined the phrase "crack is whack." Translation: I NEED HELP! What we all feared might happen to Whitney sadly came true. Yesterday afternoon, she was found dead at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in the bathtub, with her head submerged under water and her legs out of the water. According to TMZ, in wake of tonight’s Grammys, Whitney had been partying heavily the night before she died and authorities confirmed that there were downers such as Xanax, Valium and Lorazopam, found in her hotel room.

Certainly it is easy to speculate what might have happened to Whitney, but let's face it, chances of someone drowning in the bathtub without a sleep aid or some other from of intoxicant are pretty slim. The question now is, did Whitney take downers before she went in the tub?

The drug culture refers to Xanax as “the sleep of death” and according to those closest to Whitney, she liked to take Xanax before she would go on stage. What’s worse than that, like Michael Jackson, Whitney admitted she had a drug problem long ago. Why was no one watching her? How could a doctor or anyone else stand by and let her go back into the gates of hell by continuing to condone her drug abuse?

The financial impact of Whitney’s death is greater than those around her might have thought. Like Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and so many other music icons who have died as a result of drug abuse or accidental overdose, so many people lose their jobs as a result. No one was interested in paying attention to Whitney’s continued recovery, especially those closest to her. And now she’s gone.

Macaulay Culkin: Angel on My Watch-List

2012-02-10T18:36:00.000-08:00

I found this picture at E! Online two days ago. I made some calls and I am glad to see people are pointing out the obvious:

Macaulay Culkin looks like hell and if the recent pictures of him looking emaciated and skeletal are any indication, Macaulay looks like he’s not going to be here five years from now. His rep. says there is nothing wrong with him, but one could easily argue that his rep is only trying to protect his public image, instead of his very apparent poor health. Yeah Macaulay, you're not fooling me. I've been there and it looks like you are still losing your way like you did in '04. You don't look healthy to me.

If nothing is wrong with Macaulay, can we get a blood test please to make sure he doesn’t need to go to the emergency room? Nightclubbing as a DJ, which is as of late Macaulay Culkin's favorite past time, is a Smorgasbord for someone who is abusing drugs. DJs also sleep very little and have a need to be constantly amped up and because they're so busy, they forget to eat.

Whatever the issue is, cause there clearly is one according to this doctor who gave an interview to Entertainment Tonight, Macaulay Culkin is not the guy we used to know. Someone better make sure he gets some help! NOW!

Going back to School is good for Recovery

2012-02-08T18:36:00.001-08:00

When we fall into the abyss of addiction we lose many things. We lose friends, family, possessions, ability, credibility, respect, social status, our reputation and the list goes on and on. In summation of all the things we lose, what drives all these losses is a fading ability to think critically.

We can be doctors, lawyers, scientists or high school drop-outs, addiction and all the loss that comes along with it, consequentially causes misguided instinct and a down-ward spiraling, poor decision making process. Once we get sober and gain recovery, we must do more for ourselves. Addiction causes behavior of entitlement and the seeking of selfish actions driven by motives of addiction.

When we recover from the obsession of drug addiction and our mind quiets down, we replace our thoughts with thoughts of prayer, spiritual connections and ego-deflation. These are however, all processes that modify our social behaviors and leave our intellect in the dark, sometimes causing "shoot from the hip" intellectualism.

Going back to school teaches structure and discipline in places where religion, therapy and meditation cannot. Making the choice to expand and learn new subjects, allows for a comprehensive self-evaluation and aids in remediating our critical thinking skills.

“Talk to someone if you feel alone in your pain”

2012-02-01T22:08:00.000-08:00

I have not seen Don Cornelius since I got sober 13 years ago. Back in the day, I used to be part of a group who would meet at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel. We would sit and drink and tell the silliest jokes as social drinkers often do. Don would join in and he was always the voice of reason between laughs. One night, Don invited me over to his house in Studio City on Mulholland, the same house he took his own life in at 4:00am on February 1^st.

His house was beautifully designed in African décor and it was apparent from the start that he had very good taste, class and that he had a lot of books and other mementos about African American heritage and history. We sat up the whole night and talked till the sun came up. It was kind of like hanging out with your favorite uncle and getting an amazing crash course in African American studies. After that night, he left an impression on me that lasted and when I found out today that he ended his own life I was very saddened by this terrible news.

It is so hard for me to understand how someone like Don Cornelius could feel right about ending his own life. He knew so well how to get along in the world, that the last few years of strife in his life seemed so much out of the ordinary of his character. This showed he clearly had pain.

The mother of soulful vocalist Phyllis Hyman wrote in her memorial address of Phyllis, pleading to people they should not feel alone in their pain as Phyllis did who also committed suicide. For Phyllis Hyman it was drug addiction, relationship troubles and overdose. Mrs. Hyman said, “Talk to someone and know that you are not alone in your pain.”

If you’re out there and you’re feeling like your problems are too big, when you talk to someone about them, someone who will listen, they will seem much smaller and easier to handle. Feelings are not facts and actions can change the way we feel about a lot of things. So keep talking and go where the love is.

Prayers, peace, love and soul, R.I.P. Don.

Pharmaceutical Grade Medical Marijuana in 2014?

2012-02-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

I personally would like to see us do away with everything we know to be so-called medical marijuana and have no interest in such methods of "medication." Today's marketing pitch on marijuana has so much deliberate misuse of language and brainwashing involved with it, we are better of getting rid of it so we can have a sane dialogue about proposing marijuana as medicine, which should be discussed by scientists and pharmacologists, not hacks, retired judges and retired cops.

New data shows the FDA is working on clinical trials, some of which have already been completed, to bring pharmaceutical grade, medical marijuana to the United States. In this article by the Scientific American more can be learned bout the drug Sativex, which has government approval in the United Kingdom.

"The medical marijuana drug Sativex, which could be approved in the United States in the coming years as a treatment for pain relief, has little potential for abuse, experts say.

The British pharmaceutical company GW Pharmaceuticals is currently testing the drug, which is delivered as a mouth spray and called Sativex, in clinical trials. The company plans to seek U.S. Food and Drug Administration approval for the drug as a treatment for cancer pain when the trials are completed, likely sometime in 2014, a spokesperson for GW Pharmaceuticals told MyHealthNewsDaily..."

Read More

America’s Next Top (Role) Model

2012-01-30T11:39:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I was watching America’s Next Top Model while sipping my morning cup of java. There were a dozen young ladies between the ages of 18 and 24 competing for the top position. The theme for the show was “The Garden of Eden” and the mostly male directors had sketches made of women wearing body paint to match the theme. The young ladies were shown each theme designed exclusively for them and all but one were fairly confident to go forward with the body-paining project. And here I ask, since when is body-paint not art but rather fashion?

The one young lady in question was reluctant from the start and not comfortable with the idea of having all her private parts shaven and having artists place paint and glued-on rhinestones in the most private of private areas of her body. Assuming she would change her mind the directors sent her to the dressing room to undress. The other young ladies were all ago and fairly confident that they could handle such an undertaking.

Then came the last part of the theme in the form of Adam when half a dozen very handsome young male models walked on to the set wearing only a small black Speedo. The first of a series of photo-shoots began and the models began to pose in full body paint next to the now fully naked and confident male models.

Frustrated, the producers where still trying to talk the one reluctant young lady out of her robe. But she stood there shocked and even more uncomfortable than she was before saying “I love my husband and I cannot see anyone touching my private area or seeing me naked other than my husband” at which point she broke out in tears. In the moment of feeling the least dignified of what she had gotten herself into, the head producer, a male, fired her on the spot and told her, to go home, that she was no longer part of the show. The young lady left in tears.

In this example we see how little value the fashion industry attributes to those who wish to retain his or her dignity. I wonder if that producer would have said the same thing to Linda Evangelista or if he would have treated her with more kindness? Probably not. I found it appalling to see how the producers of the show were so eager to help those who were willing to bare all and showed no respect for the one young lady that showed she had strong feelings about what she was unsuspectingly placed in the middle of.

Having been an aspiring model myself, and having had a mother who was a successful fashion model and fashion designer, I know that the fashion industry has always had an element of nudity that was necessary for the job. In my mother’s days of modeling all over Europe, fashion was about style and elegance. In my time fashion was about showing more nudity, smoking, drinking and doing drugs to retain an emaciated look. But in this instance, a young lady showed dignity and a level of self-respect we should all strive for in our young women. These days the fashion industry crosses the line with young women all the time and tries to get them to go against their own dignity. I for one would like to see the fashion industry teach women how to dress, not how to undress.

The Power of Words

2012-01-26T17:14:00.000-08:00

Sobriety means learning how to say things right and helping others learn why this matters. Loving others until they learn how to love him or herself is a God given gift we can all pass on.

The Price of Keeping Up with Being Beautiful in Hollywood

2012-01-25T11:51:00.000-08:00

I remember watching Charlie’s Angels, Full Throttle, where Cameron Diaz and Demi Moore were in a bikini on the beach and thinking to myself, wow, Demi looks better than Cameron! Demi has been working on her body image for quite some time, but now we’re learning that there is a serious problem looming underneath the beautiful exterior of Demi Moore. As of late, Demi is making headlines such as having a problem with anorexia, substance abuse and of all things having suffered a seizure! Are the demands Hollywood puts on female actors to blame? Have these demands caught up with Demi Moore?

I think it’s really great to look good and feel good and for those who got it, by all means show it off and flaunt it with dignity. In Demi’s case it seems that looking good was at the cost of feeling good. Here’s to hoping Demi finds her way back to feeling great and allowing her body to heal. As the saying goes in recovery, first we’re going to save your behind, then we’ll worry about the size of it. God speed Demi!

FYFN Pays Tribute to Etta James, R.I.P.

2012-01-20T14:23:00.000-08:00

While legendary Jazz and Blues singer Etta James who passed away today at the age of 73, did not die from addiction, she struggled with an eating disorder, heroin, cocaine and prescription drug abuse for many years of her life. According to the Associated Press, Etta James addictions began in the 1960’s and lasted till 1984. Etta took her recovery all the way and made some more drastic changes with a gastric bypass surgery to combat a 400-pound weight issue. Addiction could not keep the soulful blues singer from gracing audiences with her beautiful voice. We have all been touched by her message. R.I.P. Etta James, you made our life like a song by giving us the blessing of the passion in your music and words we will remember forever.

Drug Free World: Substance & Alcohol Abuse, Education & Prevention

2012-01-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

Drug Free World: Substance & Alcohol Abuse, Education & Prevention booklets are FREE, yes FREE and should be part of drug education awareness for those serious about sending the right message. DFW is sure to make an impression on anyone who is looking for an intelligent approach to educating youth about the dangers of drug abuse.

Drug Free World is a great resource for real testimony on the consequences of drug abuse. DFW offers a large variety tastefully designed materials, including DVDs, for schools, home and community. Check out DFW. Their materials are comprehensive and easy to understand.

January is Human Trafficking and Slavery Awareness Month:

2012-01-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

Human trafficking and prostitution are one and the same and both are crimes against humanity and the absence of all we know to be decent and dignified. Getting caught in the middle of this cruel and brutal “industry” takes away a human beings sense of self and casts a dark shadow over every dream once thought possible. Getting out may take years and forgetting the horrors lasts a lifetime. Human worth is worthless and the soul is violently crushed by each encounter. Drugs and drug abuse are demanded and are part of “the job”, making human trafficking and prostitution of one the most powerful and evil engines, driving not only drug addiction, but also drug trafficking, human rights abuses and the devastating consequences connected to it.

In this article “Human Trafficking and Prostitution” author Melissa Farley, Ph.D. of Psychologists for Social Responsibility, describes the fight we have ahead of us to abolish this God forsaken form of human slavery.

Melissa Farley, Ph.D. - According to U.N. estimates, approximately 2.5 million people are being trafficked around the world at any given time, 80% of them women and children. Conservative estimates suggest that the sex industry generates some $32 billion annually. However, estimates of income generated from prostitution in one city, Las Vegas, are as high as $5 billion. Today, sex trafficking is a high-tech, globalized, electronic market, and predators are involved at all levels, using the same methods to control prostituted women that batterers use against their victims: minimization and denial of physical violence, economic exploitation, social isolation, verbal abuse, threats and intimidation, physical violence, sexual assault, and captivity. Despite the illogical attempt of some to distinguish prostitution from trafficking, trafficking is simply the global form of prostitution. Sex trafficking may occur within or across international borders, thus women may be either domestically or internationally trafficked or both. Young women are trafficked for sexual use from the countryside to the city, from one part of town to another, and across international borders to wherever there are men who will buy them.

Prostitution is widely socially tolerated, with the buyers socially invisible. Even today, many mistakenly assume that prostitution is sex, rather than sexual violence, and a vocational choice, rather than a human rights abuse. Although clinicians are beginning to recognize the overwhelming physical violence in prostitution, its internal ravages are still not well understood. There has been far more clinical attention paid to sexually transmitted diseases among those prostituted than to their depressions, lethal suicidality, mood disorders, anxiety disorders (including post-traumatic stress disorder) dissociative disorders, substance abuse, and traumatic brain injury. Regardless of its legal status or its physical location, prostitution is extremely dangerous for women. Homicide is a frequent cause of death.

Prostitution is an institution akin to slavery, one so intrinsically discriminatory and abusive that it cannot be fixed--only abolished. At the same time, its root causes must be eradicated as well: sex inequality, racism and colonialism, poverty, prostitution tourism, and economic development that destroys traditional ways of living. The conditions that make genuine consent possible are absent from prostitution: physical safety, equal power with johns and pimps, and real alternatives. It is a cruel lie to suggest that decriminalization or legalization will protect anyone in prostitution. Until it is understood that prostitution and trafficking can appear voluntary but are not in reality free choices made from a range of options, it will be difficult to garner adequate support to assist those who wish to escape but have no other choices. Enforcement of international agreements challenging trafficking and prostitution can aid in this effort as can laws challenging men’s purchase of sex.

It is important to address men’s demand for prostitution. Acceptance of prostitution is one of a cluster of harmful attitudes that encourage and justify violence against women. Violent behaviors against women have been associated with attitudes that promote men’s beliefs that they are entitled to sexual access to women, that they are superior to women and that they are licensed as sexual aggressors. Those concerned with human rights must address the social invisibility of prostitution, the massive denial regarding its harms, its normalization as an inevitable social evil, and the failure to educate students in the mental health and public health professions. Trafficking and prostitution can only exist in an atmosphere of public, professional and academic indifference.

Source: www.prostitutionresearch.com

Why Community Based 12-Step Programs Fail

2012-01-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

I am one of those few people who got sober through a community based 12-Step program which has a success rate between 3%-7%. Just getting sober is hard enough and when taking the community based approach the caveats and labels are endless. Over the last few years I have been doing a lot of complaining about the rate of successes and failures of the 12-Step approach to recovery at the community level. I am not alone. I have felt this way about the 12-Step program for a long time and would like to point out some specifics about this. First, I need to be absolutely clear about the fact that I truly believe the 12-Step approach does have effective tools for people in early sobriety. However, as people earn more time in recovery they often find out far too late, after he or she relapses, that the 12 Steps that get people sober, do not keep them there. Over the years, as research on substance related disorders and recovery have gained ground, we are learning that people are dying at a far more rapid rate from relapse when compared to first-time use. For this reason it is even more critical that community based 12-Step programs are better evaluated.

Friends and family who watch an addict destroy his or her life feel tremendous relief when their friend or loved one who had succumbed to drug abuse finally enters the rooms of recovery. The hope is often short lived however because many who seek recovery who enter these rooms, quickly realize that everyone in these rooms is looking for the same answers and that they are all extremely desperate. While some of the real answers lie in the program of the 12 Steps, this is often not realized. The 12-Step approach has gotten a limited number of people long term recovery and for many who cannot afford to look deeper into his or her own recovery, getting real help is an impossible and financially unattainable dream.

Getting right down to the bottom of it however, when I was a newcomer in a community-based 12-Step program, I really found that I was victimized by a lot of people and found the program to be predatory, sexist and abusive to women of all ages. Sitting in women’s meetings and reading outdated text materials where every action and inaction was written in the masculine form was and is really quite offensive and of little help to any woman suffering from addiction, which also causes depression among other serious conditions.

It amazes me how a 501(c3) like Alcoholics Anonymous, which is tax exempt, cannot afford to, or will not properly edit material that is suitable and relates to the sensitivities of today’s reading audience, both male and female. The fact of the matter is that the basic text of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has not changed since 1934, which was written during alcohol prohibition, which began January 6th, 1920 (18th Amendment) and ended December 5th, 1933 (21st Amendment). It would certainly be reasonable to believe that anonymity (A.A.’s 11^th Tradition) was a probably a good position to take during prohibition. However, these days talking about alcoholism or addiction openly, without rendering a person “hopeless” and damaged goods, is becoming a far more preferred trend because the public is beginning to see that real help is only for those who can afford it. Therefore, if we are going to help everyone, a more open and honest dialogue about the real causes of addiction is a path we must take.

There is an extremely dictatorial tone within the rooms of 12 Step meetings. Members request, even demand that a newcomer get a sponsor, yet among all the “approved literature” there is only a small pamphlet and no comprehensive book specifically geared towards sponsorship. Sponsorship is a serious responsibility and can be a real liability where freely handing out advice on how a person should manage his or her life is risky business. Too risky for A.A. it seems. Sponsee and sponsor relationships have unwritten mandates, accompanied by absurd rules that conflict with the personal decision making process of rational people who know they want recovery.

I remember falling for this idea in my first year of recovery and ending up getting “advice” from a mentally disturbed women who spoke in riddles and of her collection of angel figurines. She wanted to make pasta formed like angels for us while explaining to me how to live a sober life. She often mentioned how little money she had which made me feel sorry for her and so I even gave her money, something I later found out was against the unwritten rules of which there were many. She kept baiting me in with "more will later be revealed" which was spellbinding. My so-called sponsor also called my residence at seven in the morning, demanding from my then fiancé that I get on the phone because I must be going to a meeting right away. She harassed him right out of my life, telling him he was a negative influence on me and telling me if I stayed with him I would drink again. Me being new and extremely gullible, I believed every word and my engagement ended up in a “War of the Roses” style break up.

The fear and scare tactics of “if you don’t wear your hair up, you’ll drink again. You should not be in a relationship in your first year.” Or “if you don’t clean dirty coffee pots and get a commitment, you won’t stay sober” made little sense to me. But I “took direction” and “abandoned myself” as I was told, did just about everything I was asked to do, abandoning my life, passions, a real job with real responsibilities, all to appease my various sponsors which I eventually all fired.

Then I read the book that made me see things differently. It was written by a guy named Chuck C. and it’s title was “A New Pair of Glasses.” This book was about self-sponsorship and that is what I ended up perusing and it has served me well so far as I have never relapsed. From exploring other areas of self-help, I learned that if I don’t expand my knowledge on recovery beyond the rooms of 12 Steps meetings, I would be stuck forever serving an establishment that offers little hope in a big city like Los Angeles. Rather than spend all my time sitting in wobbly chairs that hurt my back, in dirty rooms, day in and day out, waiting to help someone, I decided to help myself and get a real job, a career, and go back to school to earn an undergraduate degree. It made me realize that my true mission in life is like anyone else’s. To become a dignified, useful member of society and help solve problems by applying valuable skills, while exercising compassion and understanding for my fellow man and woman.

We should be cautious to accelerate anyone into a program of recovery too quickly by making him or her learn faster than they can process the information. Getting toxins out of the body is a very unpleasant experience as it is and the force-feeding of categorical and God forbid unrealistic demands can do more harm than good. It is my true belief that recovery should to be governed by the mental health profession because the way community based 12-Step is handled, better compares to inmates running the asylum rather than a place where people can get real help. I do believe that within the 12 Steps, there is a program there somewhere that can work for all people who would like to live by structured principles of recovery. However, for the most part, the 12-Steps need to be brought into the 21^st Century. Some reputable recovery organizations like the Hazelden Foundation have helpful literature taking the 12-Steps to a new, more 21^st Century friendly audience. Hazelden Press has a book on how to be a sponsor that in my view should be in every 12-Step meeting anywhere and anyone who is a sponsor should have at least five to ten years in recovery and be certified, having taken at least one semester in psychology on substance related disorders.

New Year’s Resolution: Stay sober and go where the love is

2011-12-29T17:56:00.000-08:00

A special note to my readers: A great blessing, just in time for my 13th sober birthday which is on New Year's Eve. "Five Years From Now" recovery blog and website was covered on our nation's 6th largest radio show today; Bill Bennett's Morning in America, hosted by Mr. Bennett's Co-Host and my dear friend Seth Leibsohn. I am so very very honored to have been able to be a guest on this wonderful show. Here's the link for today's show.

Almost 13 years ago (It’ll be 13 years on New Year’s Eve), before I got sober, I struggled for years trying to see if people would accept me and love me as an addict. Couldn’t they see that I was still a “nice person” even though I used drugs? Couldn’t they accept me, hire me, be my friend, my neighbor, my teacher, a loving family member, even if I was on drugs? Why not? I kept asking myself, while looking in the mirror seeing a person I could hardly recognize. After all, I kept telling myself, I wasn’t really hurting anyone but myself? And I could manage that part…right? So I thought and thought so very wrong.

As the years in recovery go by I learned that when a member of the family is addicted to drugs the whole family is affected. When a student is on drugs the entire school develops a negative stigma. When a worker is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he or she gets frowned upon and pushed out. Relationships suffer and get destroyed, promises are often broken and commitments turn into empty words. The addict becomes a victim of many crimes and also one who is not in good standing with the law. This is a very sad reality but it is reality and just like addiction, if we want to change this reality, we fist have to accept that this is reality. It’s not a matter of whether a drug is legal or illegal, all drugs should be controlled and bad drugs should be illegal. We can’t deny the fact that drug addiction destroys human health and wellbeing sometimes over time, sometimes right away and sometimes forever.

I wanted to go where the love is, yet I had no direction on where to find it. Why? Because I was trying to find love in others instead of myself! Duh! I would later learn in sobriety that love would only find me if I did the work I needed and took the time I needed to love myself. For me this was a very tall order because I wasted so much time drinking and using drugs that taking care of loving myself was the last thing on my mind.

In the journey of my recovery I have found that self-love is a series of daily adjustments. They start with putting my attitude in check and continue with making sure that I recognize the blessings of my environment and the people who try to help me. My blessings are my sobriety, good health, relationships and ability to better myself and become more productive as a contributing member of my community. I give back what I receive, directly or indirectly, in a big way or a small way with dignity. It is also my responsibility to make sure that I am perceived in a way that is healthy for me. To do this I choose to tell everyone in my life that I am sober. It works for me and has kept me sober for many years.

Those who freely make a difference for people in recovery are the most magnificent human beings in the world. These people do things for us recovering folks that at one time or another we truly cannot do for ourselves. Sometimes those people help us and become our friend for life. Other times they help us and are burdened by us, yet they still care enough to find empathy and compassion in their hearts to understand that without the help and understanding of others we remain lost in our pain. We must always remember that the people who help us deserve praise for their kindnesses, though near or far. We praise them each day by staying sober and show them that they are our heroes and cheerleaders. Today, I thank all my heroes and cheerleaders for leading me to my 13^th year in recovery. You are the true winners who shine a bright light on my path each day!

May good things come to you always!

Alexandra

Lindsay Lohan: Beautiful Woman, Extraordinary Talent, Horrific Personal Struggle

2011-12-12T14:24:00.000-08:00

By Alexandra Datig

Lindsay Lohan grew up in the spotlight. From “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” to “Mean Girls” to “Chapter 27” Lindsay Lohan has made us all recognize that she has a will to succeed. But Lindsay has had struggles finding someone in her life who she could believe in that would show her good example. A conflict between parents, a teenage drinking problem, a series of drug arrests and courtroom drama that seems endless, has shown how Lindsay’s personal life is spiraling out of control.

At the age of 25, life begins to change for many young women. Lindsay has reached an age where she must recognize that she either grows up and begins to take responsibility for her life, or the heartbreak will keep on coming. In recovery it’s called “incomprehensible demoralization.” When Paris Hilton had all her troubles, she too was in her mid 20’s, though neither Paris nor Lindsay actually understand that younger women who plan to become “just like them” are idolizing and modeling their behavior.

We see Lindsay smoking just about everywhere she goes. We see her falling down and making a fool of herself and even more so we often see Lindsay alone. Yet we don’t ask her why she believes that her “I’m going to do what ever I want” attitude isn't hurting others. Still, Lindsay is pushing all the extremes. From breaking her probation, to being sent to the morgue, to a Marylyn Monroe-esque Playboy shoot, what are other young women and men supposed to make of Lindsay Lohan? Is she saying “look only at the part of me which is okay“, pointing to her outer undeniable beauty? But if we look at her behavior and her decisions over the last few years, it seems there are more reactions than actions to her life. This is a certain sign of unhappiness and a dangerous place for an addict.

Addiction is a complex and incredibly stressful thing, where the central nervous system’s ability to send a calming response to CNS receptors is impaired. While in it’s active state, addiction is a confrontational fiend. It is a disease of betrayal, provocation, hostile retaliation, of emotional highs and lows as well as a constant need to prove that “we are a better person than the rest of those who are watching.” Lindsay is portraying a type of martyrdom and quite frankly (and I never thought I’d say this), Playboy Magazine is doing far more for Lindsay than Lindsay is doing for Playboy. The images are certainly a step up from the blood dripping, knife wielding pics from earlier this year.

Lindsay is at a crossroads in her life and perhaps Playboy has put a fork in the road. Is she going to follow the path of Anna Nicole Smith, whose reactive, addictive life lead her to an early death? Or is Lindsay Lohan going to grow?

I for one just want to ask Lindsay to take the opportunity and think about other young women who are not riding high on fame but are going through similar problems as Lindsay’s run-ins with the law. We have heard Lindsay say for moths now, that she has to change and do more and learn form her mistakes. Woman to woman Lindsay, cause I've been there and done that, the world may seem like it revolves around you, but it does not. If you want to destroy your life, that is your business, but please, if you continue on your destructive path, get out of the spotlight because you are hurting the self-image of at-risk young women and men! It is time for you to see the writing on the wall. Do something good with your life and give yourself a chance and stop being so selfish.

President Obama's Policy On Drug Legalization: No On Legalization, Yes On Demand Reduction

2011-10-18T14:03:00.000-07:00